spin_dry Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 Within days, Vicktery Zimmerman had figured out how to connect with friends and family even as she and her husband shelter in place at their Chicago home. There are the FaceTime calls. There's the movie night (remote, of course) with another couple. There are plans for a game night. Whatever it takes to keep the 30-year-old self-professed extreme extrovert and public relations specialist from, as she puts it, “spinning in circles." Justin Zimmerman, 32, her introverted husband, is bemused — and amused — by it all. “Now it's become a thing where people are FaceTiming us all day, every day to say ‘Hi,'" the doctoral student said, laughing. “I’m like, ‘You really don’t have to.'" The self-isolation designed to arrest the coronavirus' spread has turned the tables on many norms — like living life outside the four walls of home, gathering socially at the drop of a hat and having everyday social interactions with anyone from your local barista to the guy at the corner store. But even in pre-virus times, there were people for whom those things were more pressure than pleasure: introverts, those who largely get their energy from inside themselves and selected interactions with people, as opposed to extroverts, who obtain it from outside themselves. The quarantines and distancing have upended that. It's a relief for some introverts who now don't need excuses for why they don't want to be out — and, equally, a struggle for extroverts seeking out social connection in a world where that's suddenly a limited commodity. Eric Bellmore, an avowed extrovert, found himself yelling a greeting across the road to someone he didn't know when he went for a jog near his home. He just wanted a moment of interaction. “It's mind-boggling to grasp how much I need to be around other folk," said Bellmore, 47, who works in IT in Mount Pleasant, Michigan. “My wife actually said to me last week: `For someone like you, this must be hell.'" It's been a relief for David Choi, a 34-year-old Los Angeles musician who is an avowed introvert even as the demands of professional musicianship required him to be networking and making the social rounds. The demand to quarantine, he says, “gives you an excuse to stay home which is what you want to do in the first place." The world generally has been a place where extroverts are rewarded and introverts get a side-eye, says Lisa Kaenzig, the highly extroverted dean of William Smith College. She has studied introverted learners for years. But the quarantines have changed those assumptions, she says. While everyone shares in the anxiety and worry over the virus, the actual demand of staying home and limiting social interaction has felt like a boon to the introverts she's spoken to. “All of the things that make the world harder for them as introverts, the world is better for them right now. They’re adapting much more quickly," she says. One introvert she spoke to was actually leery of the post-quarantine return to socializing, Kaenzig said, not looking forward to being swarmed by effusive extroverts looking for hugs of greeting. For some introverts, though, there has been a struggle with the idea that staying home is a matter of government demand, that there's no option of going to a cafe or coffee shop if they did want some human interaction. Jackie Aina would often do just that to break up the monotony of working from home, where the makeup artist and online content creator already spends most of her time. “Being able to go to the local coffee shop, it's nice just to switch up the environment," says Aina, 32, of Los Angeles. “Now that control is being taken away," she says. “That’s very different than choosing when and how you get to stay at home." And of course, for those extroverts and introverts who share homes where they are being told to self-isolate, it's created a new level of challenge: learning to live with each other. Extroverts have found ways to do many things remotely — video conference calls for work and school or even lunch dates, regular check-ins with loved ones over phones or computers, sometimes to the bafflement of the introverts they live with. Jackie Hardt, 34, of Buffalo, New York, recently used video conferencing to have a long coffee date with a colleague or a lunch date with friends. Her introverted husband, she says, doesn't understand that the least bit. “It would be very hard for him to make virtual happy hour or virtual coffee," she said. “He’d be perfectly fine not seeing his friends until this is all over. For me, that would be a lot harder." Through the recent days of unusually close quarters, they've been trying to respect each other's needs. “I think he recognizes I might need more interaction during the day," she said. At the same time, she said, after several years of marriage, “I know when he needs to be quiet and be by himself. I’m trying to recognize that a little bit more." In light of what the world is facing, she has an idea for a marriage vow that she believes would be more apt for the times: “In quarantine and social isolation is really what they should make you promise to each other." ___ Deepti Hajela covers issues of race, ethnicity and immigration for The Associated Press. Follow her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/dhajela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamgreen02 Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 As an introvert, I've been preparing my entire life for an event like this. After being gone for two weeks in early March I'm ready for some at home time. Haven't been in the office since March 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spin_dry Posted March 31, 2020 Author Share Posted March 31, 2020 3 minutes ago, teamgreen02 said: As an introvert, I've been preparing my entire life for an event like this. After being gone for two weeks in early March I'm ready for some at home time. Haven't been in the office since March 6. Extroverts are a noisy type of human. Filled with excesses. This has been rather nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambroski Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 It took her days to figure out how to connect with family and friends? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 Definitely introverted here but I do miss going out for drinks. Other than that, can't say there's much difference in my life. I could go an entire week without seeing another human and it wouldn't phase me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motonoggin Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 18 minutes ago, spin_dry said: Extroverts are a noisy type of human. Filled with excesses. This has been rather nice. They're annoying and obnoxious lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambroski Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 22 minutes ago, spin_dry said: Extroverts are a noisy type of human. Filled with excesses. This has been rather nice. 3 minutes ago, motonoggin said: They're annoying and obnoxious lol Extroverts are the people that a society builds upon you retards. Are you sure you brainiacs aren’t talking about personality types? My god. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GGNHL Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 Definitely been having issues as an extrovert but still working from home on the phone with customers all day and busier than ever so not much time to think about it. I've also been heading north 2 hours to snowmobile the last 3 weekends with the same group of people which has been the savior. Still hopefully 2 weeks of that left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 24 minutes ago, SSFB said: Definitely introverted here but I do miss going out for drinks. Other than that, can't say there's much difference in my life. I could go an entire week without seeing another human and it wouldn't phase me. I’d be an outgoing introvert tbh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bussman Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 26 minutes ago, SSFB said: Definitely introverted here but I do miss going out for drinks. Other than that, can't say there's much difference in my life. I could go an entire week without seeing another human and it wouldn't phase me. If I could freakin’ golf I’d be good right now. And I’d be fine doing it alone if it had to be that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frenchy Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 3 minutes ago, ACE said: I’d be an outgoing introvert tbh Same Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Contributing Member Highmark Posted March 31, 2020 Platinum Contributing Member Share Posted March 31, 2020 48 minutes ago, Zambroski said: It took her days to figure out how to connect with family and friends? She had to figure it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bussman Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 17 minutes ago, frenchy said: Same X3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambroski Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 23 minutes ago, ACE said: I’d be an outgoing introvert tbh Yup. 4 minutes ago, Highmark said: She had to figure it out. It’s hard for many. These are the people that will need mental “health” counseling when this is all over. CPTSD (Corona) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry ginger Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 1 hour ago, SSFB said: Definitely introverted here but I do miss going out for drinks. Other than that, can't say there's much difference in my life. I could go an entire week without seeing another human and it wouldn't phase me. same Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spin_dry Posted March 31, 2020 Author Share Posted March 31, 2020 1 hour ago, motonoggin said: They're annoying and obnoxious lol They continually overestimate their importance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 Been using the Houseparty app for phone with my family. That's been kinda interesting since it has games and stuff you can play. Wife has been using NetflixParty extension for Google Chrome to watch Netflix movies with her sister in Indiana. They're hooked on Korean dramas and can watch them in sync with that (actually pretty slick feature). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F3600 Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 My Wife who is an huge extrovert and works with patients everyday where she talks a lot. She is missing that interaction. She also very much enjoys retail therapy, even if there is no buying, she has a need to fulfill that wandering around the stores. Not having those upped her anxiety around the house and made her irritable which impacts us all. As the introvert of the couple, I spend my time soothing that impulse with distractions and interactions. I have no anxiety about the situation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry ginger Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 my wifes "martini night" group that usually goes out 1-2 times a month is having weekly video social nights. I SMH. then again i leave the house everyday and talk to people, she talks to a 5, 18 and 20 year old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Contributing Member steve from amherst Posted April 1, 2020 Platinum Contributing Member Share Posted April 1, 2020 8 hours ago, Angry ginger said: my wifes "martini night" group that usually goes out 1-2 times a month is having weekly video social nights. I SMH. then again i leave the house everyday and talk to people, she talks to a 5, 18 and 20 year old. Well at least she can have an adult conversation with the 5 yr old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Outgoing introverts rule the world tbh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skidude600 Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 16 hours ago, F3600 said: My Wife who is an huge extrovert and works with patients everyday where she talks a lot. She is missing that interaction. She also very much enjoys retail therapy, even if there is no buying, she has a need to fulfill that wandering around the stores. Not having those upped her anxiety around the house and made her irritable which impacts us all. As the introvert of the couple, I spend my time soothing that impulse with distractions and interactions. I have no anxiety about the situation. Ssounds exactly like our situation. My wife HAS to go shopping after work, takes constantly on the phone or is facetiming or texting all day. Drives me crazy. I don't know how somebody can tell the same story over and over again to 20 different people. I have a few select friends and family, but even then I can go for days without talking to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Wife has been working from home for years, so no big difference... but we will take off and go for a ride often enough to keep up he Vitamin D. My exposure is getting smaller all the time. People don't meet me for stuff, I leave stuff for businesses outside and just give a loud knock. For a guy with a big mouth it makes it more like a job..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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