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For those of you who have somehow fallen into one of my long-winded, coffee induced morning rants before, you know what to expect here. I'm gonna start re-posting some stuff I've blistered out over the years on HCS.  Still fun and applicable.  Let's start talking sled shit.....we can hate each other for better reasons than just politics.  :lol:

Here we go!  

 

We are a strange breed.  In watching, reading and listening to the bizarre things we say throughout the season, I thought I’d retort a bit and give my own little analysis on each snowmobiling group. Feel free to correct me, bash me, explain your side, add a few “nuggets” or even delve into the subcultures of each. It’s all in good fun and humor and since we are close to having 8-9 months before the next ride again so, time is unfortunately on our side. Now, obviously, there are subcultures in each group that have their own funny little “issues”, but I’ll write out the first four major groups (as I see them).

Let’s start with my group, the “Trail Riders”. By far the largest percentage of riders out there and thus, the whiniest. Oh my god! We are like a bizarre version of Goldilocks and Three Bears mixed in with the Seven Dwarfs; three called “Grumpy”, two called “Bitchy” and two called “Whiny”. ……….. “They ride too fast!”, “They ride too slow!”, “Why won’t they let us pass!”, “Use your mirrors!”, “This trail is too bumpy!”, “They need to groom more!”, “Stay on your side of the trail!”, “Stop whooping up the trails!”, “Stop sweeping the corners!”, “There’s too many people on the trails!”, “Use hand signals!, “Don’t use hand signals!”, “Look behind you”, “Watch where you are going!”, “The trails are too icy”, “The trails are too slushy”…..etc…

Holy sheep shit! Talk about a whiny bunch of bitches! Somewhere there is a trail for us that is absolutely perfect….it must be in Heaven. It is amazing how much we all bitch, whine, and cry all season about “everybody else” on the trails while somehow insinuating that I /my group are “the perfect rider(s)”. As miserable as we all get, we all still can’t wait for the season to start to be miserable all-over again. Comedic tragedy at its finest.

Next, the “Flat-Lander Deep Powder Riders”. Now granted these sleds look the coolest but for a lot of us, we’re not 100% sure of the appeal. There really aren’t any mountains to speak of in “flat-land country” and most of the snow gathered deep enough to justify those long tracks is on private land. And it seems that for a lot of these riders, just as soon as they venture just off the beaten path into two and half feet of snow, they get stuck almost immediately. That somehow triggers the alarm to unsheathe the cameras and take pictures of it. As if to say; “My deep powder riding talent ran out as soon as I hit deep powder.” Then post them all over the web for validation. “High marking” and “side-hilling” those 30 foot road embankments that would make even the most novice of the mountain riders wonder…”why?”. But again, the coolest looking’ sleds (IMO).

Ok, now we’ll go to the “Lake Racers or Open Field Racers”. This is a group whose life begins at 100 mph. They usually buy the fastest 4-strokers out there, and then spend oodles upgrading them. All for a few seconds of high end speed. Also the ones constantly complaining (whining) after a day of red-lining their sleds about blowing belts, burning pistons, and otherwise failing parts. Speed comes at a price…and it is reliability as much as dollars. Didn’t the dealer explain that at your time of purchase? Also, a culture in this group that brag weirdly about beating that 600 class sled across the lake…really? Shouldn’t you guys be hanging out, high-fiving, bumping “helmets” and racing each other? If you’re the only "T15000" sled in your area…well, “when in Rome…….”

“Deep Powder Mountain Riders”; As I’ve done this only a couple of times with tour groups out in Colorado, I can only comment a bit. This is a group who somehow seem to see themselves and their brand of riding as the “purest” or “elitist”. A group that at 6500 feet above sea level is where the sleds get fired up. Their sleds look like backwards chainsaws and for some reason sound just like them. Not sure why every mountain sledder absolutely must have a loud can that can be heard four mountain ranges away. If they can find a way to fit a 300 inch track with five inch lugs on a sled they would. “High marking” at 30 mph through the pines only to end up in one, or a deep crevice. This again draws out the cameras. They also share the need as the flat-lander deep powder guys do to take pictures of bent A-arms and broken suspension parts….although not as frequently. Is it difficult to break sleds by running into hard, inanimate objects? And love to make fun of us flat-landers who go out to the 7000 foot mark and need a ten minute rest after starting our sled. Next time…warn us to bring fuckin’ oxygen masks! I can help you more getting my rental unstuck if…..I CAN BREATHE!

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  • All the Jackasses on 800's with their fancy gear doing 55MPH for miles on end. Then they flip me off when I pass them on my 500 two up. Them slow pokes love their 800's.

  • racinfarmer
    racinfarmer

    I carry a stack of Yamaha brochures in the tunnel bag of the Viper.  Can you spare a few minutes to hear about my Yamaha?

  • It's called de thatching your yard you idiots. I do it every year. 

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Let's not forget the Yammi 4stroke guys. They are like fucking Jehovah's trying to recruit you over to 4strokes. Total strangers at gas stops that can't even wait for you to get your helmet off. Telling you all about their fat pig.

Two winters ago there were a group of about 5 stand ups that went screaming past us. A few minutes later we pass them as they are stopped for a smoke break. A while later they come screaming past us yet again and once again we pass them taking yet another break. This time... who knows. Maybe it was time to warm up from the extra cold they get standing up without a windshield. We do the leap frog another time or two and when we stop for a bite to eat... who comes in the stand ups. And then they complain about the spots where the trail was chewed up which was from people like them going dead stop to pinned throttle but boasting about how fast they managed to travel the trail. Kind of humourous.

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15 minutes ago, Woodtick said:

Let's not forget the Yammi 4stroke guys. They are like fucking Jehovah's trying to recruit you over to 4strokes. Total strangers at gas stops that can't even wait for you to get your helmet off. Telling you all about their fat pig.

I haven't run onto many of those guys up here.  In fact, I can't remember even seeing a Viper.  :dunno:

11 minutes ago, 02sled said:

Two winters ago there were a group of about 5 stand ups that went screaming past us. A few minutes later we pass them as they are stopped for a smoke break. A while later they come screaming past us yet again and once again we pass them taking yet another break. This time... who knows. Maybe it was time to warm up from the extra cold they get standing up without a windshield. We do the leap frog another time or two and when we stop for a bite to eat... who comes in the stand ups. And then they complain about the spots where the trail was chewed up which was from people like them going dead stop to pinned throttle but boasting about how fast they managed to travel the trail. Kind of humourous.

Yeah, we see those tards every now and then.  I don't know how they ride like that.  It's bizarre to me.

17 minutes ago, Woodtick said:

Let's not forget the Yammi 4stroke guys. They are like fucking Jehovah's trying to recruit you over to 4strokes. Total strangers at gas stops that can't even wait for you to get your helmet off. Telling you all about their fat pig.

I carry a stack of Yamaha brochures in the tunnel bag of the Viper.  Can you spare a few minutes to hear about my Yamaha?

3 minutes ago, racinfarmer said:

I carry a stack of Yamaha brochures in the tunnel bag of the Viper.  Can you spare a few minutes to hear about my Yamaha?

:lol:

37 minutes ago, Zambroski said:

Ahhh.....the "stool warmers" that was another sub category of silliness.   You know, the guys that go out all day on Saturday, put on 25 miles and spend all day between two watering holes drilling up "seat warming tabs".  Then...complain that sledding is getting too expensive.  O.o  

Fuck...the trail IS the destination for us.  If we stop anywhere, it's for a quick bite of sustenance and a refuel.  I might down one cold brew with a grease burger...but that's it.  Hell, if I'm gonna drive hammered, I'm gonna roll in my big fuckin truck!  :lol:

Sounds like something @f7ben would do :news:

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2 minutes ago, ckf said:

Sounds like something @f7ben would do :news:

Hey...think of the gas mileage though....he'll go all season and only have to fill up that sippin' 600 twice.  :lol:

7 minutes ago, Zambroski said:

Hey...think of the gas mileage though....he'll go all season and only have to fill up that sippin' 600 twice.  :lol:

:lmao:

16 minutes ago, racinfarmer said:

I carry a stack of Yamaha brochures in the tunnel bag of the Viper.  Can you spare a few minutes to hear about my Yamaha?

Do you start off with," it's just gas and go"?:lol:

I get a laugh out of the stand comics braaaapin thru a parking lot and giving you the hey look at me. F...k off yardapes

11 minutes ago, smokin george said:

I get a laugh out of the stand comics braaaapin thru a parking lot and giving you the hey look at me. F...k off yardapes

 

39 minutes ago, racinfarmer said:

I carry a stack of Yamaha brochures in the tunnel bag of the Viper.  Can you spare a few minutes to hear about my Yamaha?

That must have been you that came up to me while I was getting gas a year or two ago 

The guys that get on the web complaining the trails sucked on Sat afternoon on a Holiday weekend. :nuts:

6 minutes ago, Woodtick said:

The guys that get on the web complaining the trails sucked on Sat afternoon on a Holiday weekend. :nuts:

Why isn't the groomer out during the day :wall:

  • Canadian Donating Member

There were branches on the trails, somebody better go clear them off.

 

Yah, somebody.

The club I'm in heads out at 7pm. It has all night to set up. It's a remote area with very few bars and no hotels, so they can get away with it. Heavy traffic during the day,ghost town at night, no gas after 9pm.:bc:

2 minutes ago, Woodtick said:

The club I'm in heads out at 7pm. It has all night to set up. It's a remote area with very few bars and no hotels, so they can get away with it. Heavy traffic during the day,ghost town at night, no gas after 9pm.:bc:

We used to head out around 6PM. We would still meet a few yahoos out there in the middle of the night on the weekends. I really enjoyed grooming, but it got to the point were I spent so much time in the groomer that I didn't ride my sled much.

They are paying our groomer drivers. We have a great group of retired guys that can use some walking around cash and they don't tear shit up. 

32 minutes ago, Woodtick said:

They are paying our groomer drivers. We have a great group of retired guys that can use some walking around cash and they don't tear shit up. 

Our club was paying the operators $10/hour when we first got involved. Everyone just donated it back to the club so we did away with it. In my 10 years in the club we only had one guy that we had a problem with tearing up shit. After the third or forth time we sent him on his way.

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8 minutes ago, ckf said:

Our club was paying the operators $10/hour when we first got involved. Everyone just donated it back to the club so we did away with it. In my 10 years in the club we only had one guy that we had a problem with tearing up shit. After the third or forth time we sent him on his way.

Groomers in ON are paid.  Spent 10 hours helping one a few years ago, they should be.

Just now, ArcticCrusher said:

Groomers in ON are paid.  Spent 10 hours helping one a few years ago, they should be.

There are only a few of the bigger clubs in NH that pay their operators. The money just isn't there for most clubs to be able to pay the operators.

The guy wanting a grand more than the sled is worth because it was a spring order or it is a limited edition. The sweet decals aren't worth a grand dumb ass.  ( not talking about the ones with the shock and track upgrades ect)

13 minutes ago, Woodtick said:

The guy wanting a grand more than the sled is worth because it was a spring order or it is a limited edition. The sweet decals aren't worth a grand dumb ass.  ( not talking about the ones with the shock and track upgrades ect)

When I was looking for a used F6, I loved the ones who would advertise the LE ones with all the graphics ripped off them.  

Hey dumbass, you just removed almost everything that make that sled worth the extra $250 to me and anyone else wanting a retro, nightfire, or black widow edition.  

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1 hour ago, ArcticCrusher said:

Groomers in ON are paid.  Spent 10 hours helping one a few years ago, they should be.

The ones that groom our massive MN state trails are paid guys.  And well paid I believe.  All the others are club volunteers.

  • Canadian Donating Member

How much do you guys pay for permits.  Ours average about 200 per.

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