Matt Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 9 Great New Jobs For Laid-Off Oil And Gas Workers January 29th, 2021 4.3kShares SHARE SHARE SHARE President Biden is doing a great job getting rid of evil sources of energy like coal and gas, and replacing them with good energy-- like wind, solar, and baby unicorn whispers. Unfortunately, it seems that some of you may have lost your jobs as a result. Never fear! Biden has promised to replace your jobs with much better jobs that don't make Mother Gaia cry. Here are 9 exciting new opportunities for laid-off oil and gas workers: #1 Installing urinals in girls' bathrooms - There are over 120 million buildings in the US. That's 120 million girls' bathrooms that will need a new urinal installed for the sake of equality. Not bad! #2 Trumpet boy for Biden’s royal decrees - Biden's executive orders just seem a little more special with a trumpet boy out front heralding the coming of a new decree! Whitehouse.gov recently posted an opening for this position. Get on it! #3 Elementary school teacher in Chicago - There's nothing nobler than working for the education of a child. Well-- we don’t mean work, we mean get paid by the government just for existing. Not a bad gig. #4 Carry buckets of oil up and down the Continental United States on foot - The Keystone XL pipeline may be gone, but that oil has to get to its destination somehow, Jack! There are thousands of new positions opening up for people to carry oil across the country, balanced on their heads, like tribal natives after fetching water at the village well. Start practicing now! #5 Take that job at McDonald’s - Might as well. At this rate, the minimum wage will be $45 an hour by the years' end. #6 Open a GameStop - It's the wave of the future! #7 Go back in time and buy bitcoin - Just do it. Get off your butt, build a time machine, and buy some Bitcoin in 2009. Accomplish something for once! #8 Replace all your body parts with cyborg implants and become an Amazon drone - Helicopter arms!!! Literally no downside to this. #9 Become a youth pastor - Hardly any work required. Hang in there, bucko! There's plenty of opportunity out there! The Babylon Bee is amazing. Read the actual articles. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambroski Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 We are no longer in a world where this is considered a parody of reality. It simply is reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainecat Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 So made up stories to fit the retarded right wing agenda? Join the site you cheap fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepr2 Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 3 minutes ago, Mainecat said: So made up stories to fit the retarded right wing agenda? Join the site you cheap fuck. like fake Russian collusion? Loretta lynch Collusion is when an attorney general meets secretly with the spouse of a person under investigation. Donna Brazille Collusion is when media personnel provides questions in advance to benefit one party over another in a debate. The DNC Collusion is when the DNC conspires with one candidate in a primary to block the other candidates in that primary. Adam Shiff Collusion is when government officials leak information to the media. Comey Collusion is when an FBI director hands out immunity to persons involved in a criminal investigation and permits them to destroy evidence and doesn’t place key witnesses and suspect’s under oath , nor records their in an interview or deposition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ez ryder Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 40 minutes ago, Mainecat said: So made up stories to fit the retarded right wing agenda? Join the site you cheap fuck. Lmfao from the twatt who litteraly posted no less than 4 inside sources say storys about trump a week for 3 fucking years and not a fucking one materialized in to reality So back to you defending your stance on the XL . You must have found something to back up your spoon fed opinion by now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motonoggin Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainecat Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 25 minutes ago, Ez ryder said: Lmfao from the twatt who litteraly posted no less than 4 inside sources say storys about trump a week for 3 fucking years and not a fucking one materialized in to reality So back to you defending your stance on the XL . You must have found something to back up your spoon fed opinion by now Pay attention. I never supported the pipeline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ez ryder Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 5 minutes ago, Mainecat said: Pay attention. I never supported the pipeline. So defend your position Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowstorm Posted February 1, 2021 Share Posted February 1, 2021 25 minutes ago, Mainecat said: Pay attention. I never supported the pipeline. 99 % chance the gas you buy was refined by irving oil dosent matter what it says on the pump some of the crude to make that gas came from alberta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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