SSFB Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Quote WICHITA, KS—While responding to a distress call last week, local police officer Mike C. Nimitz entered a resident's home and shot the family's Roomba to death. Now the officer claims he feared for his life when he was "aggressively approached" by the automated vacuum device. "I feared for my life, and that is why I unloaded approximately 11 rounds into the dangerous, aggressive robot vacuum," he said in a press conference. "You don't always have time to accurately assess all threats when you are in a life-and-death situation like that. Police officer safety is our number one priority when we're out in the field." "Uh, I mean, other than your safety, of course," he quickly added. Harrowing body cam footage showed the officer "pinned down" behind a wall as he heard the iRobot Roomba vacuum approaching. He quickly called for backup before drawing his sidearm, stepping around the corner, and firing nearly a dozen blasts into the household cleaning appliance. The officer then tackled the Roomba to the ground and shouted at it to stop resisting as it fried to a crisp. Nimitz is on paid leave as an internal review is conducted. At publishing time, an investigation had revealed that Officer Nimitz was in the entirely wrong house in the first place, with the correct address being over five miles away. https://babylonbee.com/news/police-officer-claims-he-feared-for-his-life-when-he-shot-familys-roomba?fbclid=IwAR1X9BGQZsOVeSLRItUKwQDmfRQlzUWguv00E6nJq1YjhM17V108KWogNDc 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mileage Psycho Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Wears a MAGA when off duty. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambroski Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 #roombalivesmatter 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 This can't be a real article, right? Fucking guy smoking bath salts before his shift? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.