XCR1250

Carol was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping in class. 'Tell me Carol, who created the universe?' When Carol didn't stir, but little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty!' shouted Carol. The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.... A little later the Nun asked Carol, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?' But when Carol didn't stir from her slumber, once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt. 'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Carol. And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Carol fell back asleep. The Nun asked her a third question....'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?' Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Carol jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!' The nun fainted.

arbon fiber is ridiculously strong and should hold up in any side-by-side impact test against aluminum. That is, until you start considering price. Carbon fiber costs substantially more to manufacture, form, and fix than either steel or aluminum. That’s probably why GM plans to limit its usage to only highest trim levels, at least until it can figure out a way to keep production costs down. However, according to the Wall Street Journal, General Motors doesn’t want to keep the exotic weave limited to ultra-expensive models indefinitely. It’s considering the widespread implementation of carbon fiber, as the lightweight material would improve fuel economy by cutting down on weight. But selling it to consumers might be difficult. We know that truck buyers are willing to spend more than ever on a pickup but we don’t know if they’ll option for a bed that isn’t steel without it being roped into an appetizing premium package. They certainly didn’t with GM’s plastic composite beds in the early 2000s. Carbon fiber isn’t the only lightweight material that appears destined for the GMC Sierra and Chevrolet Silverado, either. The report indicated that we might soon see more aluminum used in both vehicles’ construction — again, to save weight. It’s hard not to feel bad for the engineers in this case. You can imagine one of them mentioning the need to lighten General Motors’ fleet before someone said, “Well, we can’t use too much aluminum. Those advertising people made that an impossibility for us. What about carbon fiber?” Selective availability or not, simply using the material will give GM some serious bragging rights. That’s important in the highly competitive truck segment, where every added feature or extra pound of payload capacity can make a difference.

I see they will offer a carbon fibre box for the Silverado.

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............ "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5182571/Corpse-resembling-DINOSAUR-flesh-bones.html

https://www.politico.com/story/2017/12/15/andrea-ramsey-candidate-kansas-withdraws-sexual-harassment-297782

http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/14/opinions/trump-modern-jfk-opinion-moore/index.html

I want 1 also.

Ryan says it's not true, he's staying.

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good. So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world. #8 Life is sexually transmitted. #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. #2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/13/politics/congress-women-democrats-dress-kaptur/index.html

https://nypost.com/2017/12/12/ugly-as-muellers-investigation-may-look-its-on-track-to-clear-trump/

Oops: How's this then?

NOPE!

Just came back from plowing, we have 10+ inches on the ground, sleds are out riding, lake are NOT staked yet so stay off them please.

Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine.... He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can’t stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy. The supervisor is puzzled and asks, “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" "It's Frank. The midget."

Even Subway restaurants.

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The man from England fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The man from New Zealand reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The Australian started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' The Aussie replied, 'These are Carols.' And So The Christmas Season Begins......

Ah, Science.

https://www.aol.com/video/view/extreme-closeup-of-the-moon-is-slightly-disturbing/59f9c6168c08e00c7adfd4f3/

Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes. Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about three. Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5..00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!). Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose. Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct? Man: Correct. Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000 correct? Man: Correct. Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane? Man: Do you drink beer? Woman: No. Man: Where is your airplane?