Religion debate

[SmeeAgain]

A bus load of nuns are on their way to the casino

On the way, the driver swerves to miss hitting a squirrel.

The bus loses control and drives off of a cliff and all of the nuns die.

As they are standing at the pearly gates, st. peter asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?"

The nun says, " I looked at one for like 30 seconds once"

St. Peter says, "Ok wash your eyes out with holy water and walk on thru"

He asks the next nun, " Have you ever touched a penis before?"

She answers, "My hand brushed up against one once"

St Peter says, "Ok wash your hand off with holy water and walk on thru"

Then a violent struggle begins to ensue near the back of the line.

St Peter yells, "Sister Josephine, what is going on?!?"

Sister Josephine replies, "If I have to gargle that stuff i wanna do it before sister Roberta puts her ass in there!"

[Anler]

1 hour ago, SmeeAgain said:

A bus load of nuns are on their way to the casino

 

On the way, the driver swerves to miss hitting a squirrel.

 

The bus loses control and drives off of a cliff and all of the nuns die.

 

As they are standing at the pearly gates, st. peter asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?"

 

The nun says, " I looked at one for like 30 seconds once"

 

St. Peter says, "Ok wash your eyes out with holy water and walk on thru"

 

He asks the next nun, " Have you ever touched a penis before?"

 

She answers, "My hand brushed up against one once"

 

St Peter says, "Ok wash your hand off with holy water and walk on thru"

 

Then a violent struggle begins to ensue near the back of the line.

 

St Peter yells, "Sister Josephine, what is going on?!?"

 

Sister Josephine replies, "If I have to gargle that stuff i wanna do it before sister Roberta puts her ass in there!"

 

You stole that from me.  

[XCR1250]

3 hours ago, NaturallyAspirated said:

So do you have an answer?

Neal

none

[SmeeAgain]

2 hours ago, Anler said:

You stole that from me.  

  Maybe..   I have a word file with tons a jokes!!

 

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.
They undress and step in the showers before they
realize there is no soap. Father John says he has
some soap in his room and goes to get it, not
bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in
his hands and heads back to the showers. He gets
halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns
heading his way. Having no place to hide, he
stands against the wall and freezes like he's a
statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his
dick. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.
"Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "A soap dispenser."
To test her theory she also pulls his dick...and
sure enough he drops the last bar of soap. The
third nun then pulls, first once, then twice and
three times. Still nothing happens. So she tries
once more and to her delight she yells...
"Look, hand cream!"

[Anler]

2 minutes ago, SmeeAgain said:

  Maybe..   I have a word file with tons a jokes!!

 

Two priests are off to the showers late one night.
They undress and step in the showers before they
realize there is no soap. Father John says he has
some soap in his room and goes to get it, not
bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in
his hands and heads back to the showers. He gets
halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns
heading his way. Having no place to hide, he
stands against the wall and freezes like he's a
statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his
dick. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.
"Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "A soap dispenser."
To test her theory she also pulls his dick...and
sure enough he drops the last bar of soap. The
third nun then pulls, first once, then twice and
three times. Still nothing happens. So she tries
once more and to her delight she yells...
"Look, hand cream!"

Ha! Here is one I have been using for years. 

MacGregor is sitting at the pub drowning his sorrows

He tells the young lad at the bar, you see that table over there? Its a fine table. Its sturdy and strong. I built that table with my own 2 hands. you think they would call me MacGregor the great table maker. No, they dont call me that. 

You see this bar here? See how straight and true it is? The drinks just slide right down it. Its a fine bar. I built this bar with my own 2 hands. You think they would call me MacGregor the great bar builder. No, they dont call me that. 

You see that fence over there? See how straight and sturdy it is? Its a fine fence. i built that fence with my own 2 hands. you think they would call me MacGregor the great fence builder. no, they dont call me that. 

But you fuck one goat!

[SmeeAgain]

2 minutes ago, Anler said:

Ha! Here is one I have been using for years. 

MacGregor is sitting at the pub drowning his sorrows

He tells the young lad at the bar, you see that table over there? Its a fine table. Its sturdy and strong. I built that table with my own 2 hands. you think they would call me MacGregor the great table maker. No, they dont call me that. 

You see this bar here? See how straight and true it is? The drinks just slide right down it. Its a fine bar. I built this bar with my own 2 hands. You think they would call me MacGregor the great bar builder. No, they dont call me that. 

You see that fence over there? See how straight and sturdy it is? Its a fine fence. i built that fence with my own 2 hands. you think they would call me MacGregor the great fence builder. no, they dont call me that. 

But you fuck one goat!

  The best thing about that joke is that the lesson is true!! My buddy used a similar analogy to that with his daughter about dating a black guy.

[SmeeAgain]

One of my faves too!! 

The Golden Saloon

 

A guy comes home, drunk out of his mind, and his clothes smell like

Budweiser. He loop-legs it through the door and is met by his wife, who

is scowling, figuring he's been out fucking other women.

 

"Where the hell you been all night?" she demands.

 

"At this fantastic new saloon," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything

there is golden."

 

"Bullshit! There's no such place!" she says.

 

Guy says, "Sure there is! Joint's got huge golden doors, a golden floor.

Hell, even the urinal's gold!"

 

The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the

phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She

calls up the place to check her old man's story. "Is this the Golden

Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

 

"Yes it is," bartender answers.

 

She says: "Do you have huge golden doors?"

 

He replies: "Sure do."

 

She asks: "Do you have golden floors?"

 

He replies: "Most certainly do."

 

"What about golden urinals?" she says.

 

There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey,

Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last

night!"