Jump to content
Check your account email address ×

Today's Jokes


Recommended Posts

How to Maintain a Healthy Level
 Of    Insanity in RETIREMENT...

 
 

 
1.

 
 
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!
 
 

 
2.

 

 
On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual Favors"
 
 
 

 
3.

 

 
Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.
 
 
 

 
4.

 

 
With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
 
 
 

 
5.

 

 
Sing along at The Opera.
 

 
 

 
6.

 

 
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
 
 

 
7.

 

 
When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
 
 
 

 
8.

 

 
Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....'
 
 

 
9.

 

 
Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
 

 
 
 

 
10.

 

 
Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!"
 
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Trying to pay the bills, lol



×
×
  • Create New...