Today's Joke

[XCR1250]

Paddy had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the night,
celebrating St Patrick’s Day.

Mick, the bartender says, ‘You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy’.

Paddy replies, ‘OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then’. Paddy spins around on his
stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

‘Damn’ he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He
takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, ‘oh bloody damn!’

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks
his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better
and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face.

‘Be-Jesus… I’m in bloody trouble,’ he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls
himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and says ‘No bloody way....’

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says ‘I can make it to the
bed’. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says
‘damn it’ and falls into bed.

The next morning his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
coffee and says, ‘Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ?’

Paddy says, ‘I did, Jess. I was bloody pissed. But how did you know?’

‘Mick from the Pub phoned .. . . You left your wheelchair at the pub.’
 

Edited April 13, 2018 by XCR1250