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Showing results for tags '12/24/2017'.
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A couple of us local retired guys were asked to address a middle school gathering put on by the PTA. As luck would have it, I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself. I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit, and, since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn't show, I threw it open for questions. The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?” I said, “That’s an easy one. Looking back over my 6-plus decades, I believe I've spent close to 90 percent of my earnings on booze and whores. The rest I just wasted.” The two rules to live by are: 1) If it flies, floats, or f-cks, it’s cheaper to rent it! 2) If it’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have problems with it. I was escorted out. I doubt they'll invite me back next year. I don't know why? Kids need to know this stuff.
