Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home.
The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems..
I'm seventy years old.
Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate.
All day long I try to urinate.
They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps.”
The second old man says,
“You think you have problems.
I'm eighty years old.
Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels.
I try all day long.
They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up,
“Fellas: I'm ninety years old.
Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate.
Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels.
Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."