If there’s a heaven, 100% the best part will be going through your life statistics.
— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) July 13, 2023
“Holy shit! No way I masturbated that many times in 1986. Has to be a typo.”
“No, all god’s records are accurate.”
“Did I lead the nation?”
“No, but you led your high school.”
“Fuck yeah!”