Jump to content

Today's sicko Jokes


Recommended Posts

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer either.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard.
 
 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, Re-Group:

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
 
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said one, "but we don't have a ladder."
 
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
 
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
 
Both engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving for the DNC in the United States Congress.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Platinum Contributing Member
2 minutes ago, XCR1250 said:

Liberal always whine we should re-cycle, so I did..LOL

 Hey, at least you're paying attention..

Didn't ya hear. All the plastic #3 and higher wasn't actually getting recycled. The Chinese were burning it to produce electricity Causing a lot more pollution then coal would have.

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Trying to pay the bills, lol

×
×
  • Create New...