SSFB Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 Quote Kraken Holds Press Conference To Distance Itself From Trump Campaign WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amid urgent calls for Trump's legal team to "release the Kraken" and show the country their irrefutable proof of voter fraud, the legendary Nordic cephalopod made a rare media appearance this week to clear things up and distance himself from the Trump campaign. "Let me be perfectly clear," gargled the Kraken in its horrifying eldritch voice. "I am not, nor have I ever been, a member of the Trump campaign. No one has contacted me from the campaign or legal team. These rumors of me being 'released' are just rumors." Reporters then began to shout questions and offer buckets of dead fish in hopes that the Kraken would call on them. "Have you ever been to Mar-a-Lago? Did you help the Russians meddle in the 2016 elections? Are you a racist?" yelled Jim Acosta before being devoured whole by the terrible creature. The cranky monster then slithered back into the briny depths from whence it came. Trump responded on Twitter, calling the Kraken "a total loser who he never liked anyway." In light of the Kraken's denial, Trump's legal team has announced plans to release Mothra instead. https://babylonbee.com/news/kraken-holds-press-conference-to-distance-itself-from-trump-campaign?fbclid=IwAR1oMeSkIl7DVZp10iyydqsshpMpUhNWMIOWvpWLVMywt8Gb8w0OFeYFF3o 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodtick Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 Fake News Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Contributing Member SnowRider Posted November 22, 2020 Platinum Contributing Member Share Posted November 22, 2020 Babylonbee Before I even opened it I thought that’s what it might be And Woody is immediately defensive and doesn’t get the satire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 2 minutes ago, Woodtick said: Fake News No that's u, Termite! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodtick Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 Just now, SSFB said: No that's u, Termite! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spin_dry Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 that’s fucking funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 12 minutes ago, Woodtick said: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodtick Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 2001: A Space Odyssey is on. At the beginning, all of the bipedal apes jumping around screaming and hitting each other with bones reminds me of this place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DriftBusta Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frenchy Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 4 minutes ago, SSFB said: 2001: A Space Odyssey is on. At the beginning, all of the bipedal apes jumping around screaming and hitting each other with bones reminds me of this place. universally labelled as one of the best movies of all time. I have yet to be able to get through the entire thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 1 minute ago, frenchy said: universally labelled as one of the best movies of all time. I have yet to be able to get through the entire thing Yeah, I've actually never seen it either. I do have some midnight IT maintenance I have to do tonight so this is a good night to watch it I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodtick Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 3 minutes ago, SSFB said: Yeah, I've actually never seen it either. I do have some midnight IT maintenance I have to do tonight so this is a good night to watch it I guess. Changing some votes tonight? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 Just now, Woodtick said: Changing some votes tonight? Yes! gEoRgE SoRoS is paying me 3x for burning the midnight oil!!!!!!11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Crappie Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 16 minutes ago, SSFB said: 2001: A Space Odyssey is on. At the beginning, all of the bipedal apes jumping around screaming and hitting each other with bones reminds me of this place. They aren't throwing any feces or you'd be spot on. LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodtick Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 7 minutes ago, SSFB said: Yes! gEoRgE SoRoS is paying me 3x for burning the midnight oil!!!!!!11 They are talking about you on newsmax tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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