SSFB Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Quote WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a statement to D.C. police given Tuesday, senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren claimed that two men in colonial outfits accosted her on the street and assaulted her with smallpox-infected blankets. Warren claimed she was simply on her evening walk with her favorite peyote blend when the two men leaped out of the bushes, fired a round, spent several minutes reloading their muzzle-loading rifles, fired again, and then hollered "battle cries" as they hurled smallpox-infested blankets at her. "The men fired muskets at me, threw several blankets infested with smallpox in my general direction, and told me this was colonial country," she said, holding back tears. "They told me to go back to my reservation and that I wasn't welcome here." According to Warren, the men stuck a feather in her hair and then called her "macaroni" before dancing around her in a mock Native American rain dance. "It is just despicable to me that in 2019 a woman can still be targeted for lynching because of her .0001% Indian heritage," she said in a press conference. "This is Trump's America, people." Police quickly poked holes in Warren's story, such as the fact that she never dropped her peace pipe throughout the ordeal and that she left the smallpox blankets and mock Indian headdress on herself as she walked to the police department to make her statement. https://babylonbee.com/news/elizabeth-warren-claims-two-men-in-colonial-outfits-assaulted-her-with-smallpox-infested-blankets?fbclid=IwAR36Sui4TMAKytU87lN7uvIDJiqPK-MVx3p6q8UhMcFQ7paCW8Hhbv7zkyg 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rod Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 She will be on good morning America tomorrow to talk about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKIQPilot Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Hahaha. Perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gold Member Kivalo Posted February 20, 2019 Gold Member Share Posted February 20, 2019 That's hilarious!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mileage Psycho Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mainecat Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 I guess when you have nothing to debate her on just make up racist stories. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Mainecat said: I guess when you have nothing to debate her on just make up racist stories. Lighten up Francis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Contributing Member steve from amherst Posted February 20, 2019 Platinum Contributing Member Share Posted February 20, 2019 Just now, SSFB said: Lighten up Francis Don't mind my neighbor, he dosnt believe its possible to crack a joke about a dem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 1 minute ago, steve from amherst said: Don't mind my neighbor, he dosnt believe its possible to crack a joke about a dem. You live in a nursing home too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Contributing Member steve from amherst Posted February 20, 2019 Platinum Contributing Member Share Posted February 20, 2019 1 minute ago, SSFB said: You live in a nursing home too? Im the caretaker. When he gets shitball double crazy its usually because I was stoned and gave him someone elses meds by mistake. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anorkist Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 she need not have worried about the pox as it would only affect .0001% of her ass 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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