f7ben Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 So ....I wake up this morning. Get my coffee or I should say the wife grabs me one. I sit down and am enjoying my morning with some fun projects ahead for the day. A few minutes later wife asks if I'd like some breakfast and offers me standard fare or a delicious cheeseburger from last night off the weber. I opt for cheeseburger and she whips it up and delivers it to me in my chair!!!!!! Doorbell rings and little bubby dog goes ape shit. Its a package at the door. From amazon of course. Its my 1/8th NPT x 3/16th barb tees for the boost line on the sled and nice little LED bolt light that I am going to use as a status light for the meth controller. Either way I am looking at the items for a second when I hear this sound....its a veracious licking sound. I spin to look back and the fucking dog has mounted my chair and is licking my cheeseburger like its the first pussy he got his hands on in 9th grade. I yell and he retreats. Now I am left with a choice.....this burger is fucking good. I dont blame the dog for wanting it but I want it too Keep in mind this all is happening within seconds. I grab the burger.....look at the wife......I tear off a piece of the bun and say " I am going to assume this was the part he licked" ......I throw tiny part of bun away and resume eating burger. Wife shakes head Killing dog was not an option ......what would you have done 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSFB Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 Lol. I had a burger the other day that had a hair in it. I pulled out the hair and kept eating it.. I wouldnt even drink out of a glass that someone else already had when I was a kid. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambroski Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 9 minutes ago, f7ben said: So ....I wake up this morning. Get my coffee or I should say the wife grabs me one. I sit down and am enjoying my morning with some fun projects ahead for the day. A few minutes later wife asks if I'd like some breakfast and offers me standard fare or a delicious cheeseburger from last night off the weber. I opt for cheeseburger and she whips it up and delivers it to me in my chair!!!!!! Doorbell rings and little bubby dog goes ape shit. Its a package at the door. From amazon of course. Its my 1/8th NPT x 3/16th barb tees for the boost line on the sled and nice little LED bolt light that I am going to use as a status light for the meth controller. Either way I am looking at the items for a second when I hear this sound....its a veracious licking sound. I spin to look back and the fucking dog has mounted my chair and is licking my cheeseburger like its the first pussy he got his hands on in 9th grade. I yell and he retreats. Now I am left with a choice.....this burger is fucking good. I dont blame the dog for wanting it but I want it too Keep in mind this all is happening within seconds. I grab the burger.....look at the wife......I tear off a piece of the bun and say " I am going to assume this was the part he licked" ......I throw tiny part of bun away and resume eating burger. Wife shakes head Killing dog was not an option ......what would you have done Fuck it...I'd have eaten right from his last bite as soon as I took it from him. I've had animals too long to even think twice about this shit. One of our god damn cats got up on the counter a few weeks ago and grabbed the ham off the sandwich I was making as I went to take a piss. I chased him off the counter where he dropped the ham on the floor. Last fucking peices too! I rinsed them off in the sink, slammed them back on the 'wich and enjoyed! The fat fucking bastard! 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
small-bore Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 I cannot stomach eating off of a dish that a dog has eaten off of. I would just give the dog the rest of it and found something else to eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Crappie Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 In my house with my dogs there would only be one option. Make a sandwich because the burger is loooong gone. Labs don't lick food before they devour it. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spin_dry Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 (edited) Momo eats out of public toilets. You’re fine. Edited May 2, 2018 by spin_dry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheezusXR8 Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 Eat the dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jammin Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 43 minutes ago, f7ben said: So ....I wake up this morning. Get my coffee or I should say the wife grabs me one. I sit down and am enjoying my morning with some fun projects ahead for the day. A few minutes later wife asks if I'd like some breakfast and offers me standard fare or a delicious cheeseburger from last night off the weber. I opt for cheeseburger and she whips it up and delivers it to me in my chair!!!!!! Doorbell rings and little bubby dog goes ape shit. Its a package at the door. From amazon of course. Its my 1/8th NPT x 3/16th barb tees for the boost line on the sled and nice little LED bolt light that I am going to use as a status light for the meth controller. Either way I am looking at the items for a second when I hear this sound....its a veracious licking sound. I spin to look back and the fucking dog has mounted my chair and is licking my cheeseburger like its the first pussy he got his hands on in 9th grade. I yell and he retreats. Now I am left with a choice.....this burger is fucking good. I dont blame the dog for wanting it but I want it too Keep in mind this all is happening within seconds. I grab the burger.....look at the wife......I tear off a piece of the bun and say " I am going to assume this was the part he licked" ......I throw tiny part of bun away and resume eating burger. Wife shakes head Killing dog was not an option ......what would you have done Post this shit on Facebook. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoslinger Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 eaten the damn thing and not asked about it on the internets, thinking everybody is interested.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoslinger Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 Just now, jammin said: Post this shit on Facebook. X2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcticCrusher Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 Give it to the dog and tell the wife to make you another one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f7ben Posted May 2, 2018 Author Share Posted May 2, 2018 59 minutes ago, Zambroski said: Fuck it...I'd have eaten right from his last bite as soon as I took it from him. I've had animals too long to even think twice about this shit. One of our god damn cats got up on the counter a few weeks ago and grabbed the ham off the sandwich I was making as I went to take a piss. I chased him off the counter where he dropped the ham on the floor. Last fucking peices too! I rinsed them off in the sink, slammed them back on the 'wich and enjoyed! The fat fucking bastard! Cats are different dude.....you know that car walks around in a litter box and then is right up on your counter.......I would draw the line there. Fuck that shit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f7ben Posted May 2, 2018 Author Share Posted May 2, 2018 29 minutes ago, Snoslinger said: eaten the damn thing and not asked about it on the internets, thinking everybody is interested.... Its a funny story and I enjoyed typing it. I'll resume calling people faggots and you the dumbest motherfucker on the planet now....sorry I lost myself for minute 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambroski Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 10 minutes ago, f7ben said: Its a funny story and I enjoyed typing it. I'll resume calling people faggots and you the dumbest motherfucker on the planet now....sorry I lost myself for minute I don't like long poAsts!!!!! kfjgjusurjuasdk.jkdfjadkjjfjerya.kekfgmlasfdmgd akjdfjjgjabndfaggotsareeverywherekdngnadgjknandfgkjadfgkaj aisdfnaskdjfnsjdjgfgargbahdasdfkeyflfaueylasadvhcb .,afm'jdpoi;uglbj.dfnkoufgvjnkji;hulkghmnmjihuilyghm nmasldf gafdhgsfrasefdfsdgadsfdfagsgfa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Contributing Member Highmark Posted May 2, 2018 Platinum Contributing Member Share Posted May 2, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, f7ben said: So ....I wake up this morning. Get my coffee or I should say the wife grabs me one. I sit down and am enjoying my morning with some fun projects ahead for the day. A few minutes later wife asks if I'd like some breakfast and offers me standard fare or a delicious cheeseburger from last night off the weber. I opt for cheeseburger and she whips it up and delivers it to me in my chair!!!!!! Doorbell rings and little bubby dog goes ape shit. Its a package at the door. From amazon of course. Its my 1/8th NPT x 3/16th barb tees for the boost line on the sled and nice little LED bolt light that I am going to use as a status light for the meth controller. Either way I am looking at the items for a second when I hear this sound....its a veracious licking sound. I spin to look back and the fucking dog has mounted my chair and is licking my cheeseburger like its the first pussy he got his hands on in 9th grade. I yell and he retreats. Now I am left with a choice.....this burger is fucking good. I dont blame the dog for wanting it but I want it too Keep in mind this all is happening within seconds. I grab the burger.....look at the wife......I tear off a piece of the bun and say " I am going to assume this was the part he licked" ......I throw tiny part of bun away and resume eating burger. Wife shakes head Killing dog was not an option ......what would you have done Does the dog eat shit? Yes: Toss it in the garbage. No: Enjoy your burger. My lab eats my Yorkie's shit and the Yorkie's eat the cat's shit out of the litterbox. It at least comes with sprinkles. Edited May 2, 2018 by Highmark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f7ben Posted May 2, 2018 Author Share Posted May 2, 2018 1 minute ago, Highmark said: Does the dog eat shit? Yes: Toss it in the garbage. No: Enjoy your burger. No....my dog is about the cleanest little priss in the world. I swear to god the fucker has the cleanest asshole in the world He shits like a clock and its perfect turds everytime. There is some serious benefit to feeding your dog well. We make his dogfood and he is healthy , happy and shits well !!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum Contributing Member Highmark Posted May 2, 2018 Platinum Contributing Member Share Posted May 2, 2018 Just now, f7ben said: No....my dog is about the cleanest little priss in the world. I swear to god the fucker has the cleanest asshole in the world He shits like a clock and its perfect turds everytime. There is some serious benefit to feeding your dog well. We make his dogfood and he is healthy , happy and shits well !!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 Our Yorkies are on a special low Protein diet. They literally poop dry little nuggets. Its hilarious. Jesus we've reached a new low today. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f7ben Posted May 2, 2018 Author Share Posted May 2, 2018 Just now, Highmark said: Our Yorkies are on a special low Protein diet. They literally poop dry little nuggets. Its hilarious. Jesus we've reached a new low today. agreed 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mileage Psycho Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 1 hour ago, f7ben said: So ....I wake up this morning. Get my coffee or I should say the wife grabs me one. I sit down and am enjoying my morning with some fun projects ahead for the day. A few minutes later wife asks if I'd like some breakfast and offers me standard fare or a delicious cheeseburger from last night off the weber. I opt for cheeseburger and she whips it up and delivers it to me in my chair!!!!!! Doorbell rings and little bubby dog goes ape shit. Its a package at the door. From amazon of course. Its my 1/8th NPT x 3/16th barb tees for the boost line on the sled and nice little LED bolt light that I am going to use as a status light for the meth controller. Either way I am looking at the items for a second when I hear this sound....its a veracious licking sound. I spin to look back and the fucking dog has mounted my chair and is licking my cheeseburger like its the first pussy he got his hands on in 9th grade. I yell and he retreats. Now I am left with a choice.....this burger is fucking good. I dont blame the dog for wanting it but I want it too Keep in mind this all is happening within seconds. I grab the burger.....look at the wife......I tear off a piece of the bun and say " I am going to assume this was the part he licked" ......I throw tiny part of bun away and resume eating burger. Wife shakes head Killing dog was not an option ......what would you have done How far can that doggie fly through the window Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Snoslinger said: eaten the damn thing and not asked about it on the internets, thinking everybody is interested.... You cry about Trump on the nets and no one is interested. Definitely woulda ate the whole thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 One of my cats STOLE a whole steak i had out warming up to room temp. After I got him, he completely cleared the porch before landing in a snow bank. Fucker still did it later... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoslinger Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 (edited) 3 hours ago, DAVE said: You cry about Trump on the nets and no one is interested. Definitely woulda ate the whole thing. I have hundreds, likely thousands, of posts that say otherwise. Many from you more proof you just aren’t very bright. Edited May 2, 2018 by Snoslinger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 3 hours ago, Snake said: One of my cats STOLE a whole steak i had out warming up to room temp. After I got him, he completely cleared the porch before landing in a snow bank. Fucker still did it later... Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted May 2, 2018 Share Posted May 2, 2018 My dog will poach stuff right off the counter. Even if it’s pushed way back against the wall. I don’t know how he gets it but he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f7ben Posted May 2, 2018 Author Share Posted May 2, 2018 How could you even say no to those sad lab eyes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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